Zoey Starts Preschool, I Reflect

The smell of glue, graham crackers and puppy love are what I remember from my preschool years.  Yes, I was just four years old when I had my first crush.  His name was Tyler and we were in the Green class together.  I have only one memory of him, but somehow my heart hasn’t forgotten.  He had been out sick for a while with the chicken pox.  The day he came back I was so nervous.  He still had red scabs all over his face and because this freaked me out a little bit.  I hid from him behind a wall in the play area with my friend, Jenny.  We peeked out at him as he settled into a chair.  Those fews moments are the extent of my memory of Tyler and my love for him.  

I have a couple other memories of preschool, like being on the playground, the other kids playing nosily around me.  I remember playing alone in the play house with my shy metaphorical turtle shell on. I also recall waiting outside with the others kids for our moms to pick us up.  I clutched my backpack, as I sat cross-legged against a wall in front of the parking lot.  The parents lined up in their cars.  The cars crept slowly forward as the kids were shuffled into them.   I think it just happened once, but I remember sitting alone, as my mom’s car was the last car one day.  I think the fear of not being picked up was there, but I knew it wasn’t possible, she would come for me, and she did. 

Zoey's first day

We’ve been preparing Zoey for preschool for weeks now.  We’ve made sure she understood that we wouldn’t be there with her, that her daddy would drop her off and pick her up a few hours later.  We played up our enthusiasm and succeeded in getting her excited for her first day of school.  At bedtime, in the weeks leading up to her first day, I read her the books First Day of School by Nora Gaydos and First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg to help prepare her. We talked about all the cool things she would do, like art projects, snack time, singing and story time.  She never seemed nervous leading up to the big day and I hoped that meant we took the scary out for her.  

I debated taking her on the first day of school.  I soon realized that it probably wasn’t the best idea and wouldn’t be good for either of us.  If she happened to start crying, I knew I inevitably would too and wouldn’t want to leave her.  For these reasons, it was best that Joe take her.  He wouldn’t have any qualms leaving her.  I decided instead to use the last bit of personal time I had left at work and took half a day off.  I would surprise her by picking her up.  That morning, I sat at work with my fingers crossed, hoping the drop off would go without a hitch.  

It turns out, as usual, I had worried for nothing.  Zoey’s first day went wonderfully, there were no tears and no drama (at times our girl can be dramatic).  I was a proud and happy mommy!  Joe said she seemed a little freaked out when some of the other kids cried at the prospect of being left behind.  She was okay, though, knowing Joe wasn’t leaving her forever.  Joe also mentioned that Zoey looked down at the ground and shy’d up when the teachers introduced themselves to her, but I hadn’t expected any less from my shy girl.  In the end, I think we deserve some credit for her successful first day.  She knew what to expect and that the teachers would take care of her.  

Zoey's painting

That afternoon, I waited impatiently outside Zoey’s classroom.  I peeked in through a small window in the door.  I saw her lined up outside near the playground, waiting to come back into the room.  She was okay, of course she was!  She kept looking back at the girl behind her.  A little before 3:30 the teacher opened the door for the waiting parents.  I kept my eyes on Zoey as I stood in line behind the other parents waiting to sign her out for the day.  I watched her face until she saw me.  She smiled, then did a quick double take, checking to make sure it was really me. The kids were all sitting patiently in a circle, their paintings clutched in their hands.  Zoey looked tired, she had woken up early that morning, before six (she has this thing about wanting to watch me put my makeup as I get ready for work and has been waking up to do this).  I knew she was feeling a little overwhelmed by the newness of the day she had just had.  I finally got to the front of the line and said I was there to pick up “my daughter, Zoey.”  My grin couldn’t have been bigger as I watched my girl, who was growing up way too quickly, walk toward me.  I asked if she was surprised to see me.  She said she was, then she put her painting behind her back and said she had a surprise for me too.

When we got her sweater (the school said we should bring one everyday, because “weather can unpredictable” and even though it was still summer and hot, I followed this rule) out of her cubby.  She got upset that I didn’t take the emergency bag with the change of clothes and shoes they asked us to bring and leave there.  She was concerned about leaving it behind.  She said there was another girl in the class named Zoey and she thought she might accidentally take it.  I explained that no one would take her clothes, they would still be in her cubby the next time she went to school.   After some prodding, we finally made it to the car where Joe and Hunter were waiting.  As I buckled her seatbelt we asked her about her day.  She wan’t ready to talk about it yet and still seemed overwhelmed and a little cranky.  I knew she just needed some processing time.  I had a feeling that before long we wouldn’t be able to get her to shut her up about it. 

We took her to the Katella Deli bakery and let her pick out a treat to celebrate her big day.  She picked a ladybug sugar cookie.  As I had predicted, after we got home and she began chomping on her cookie, she opened up about her day.  When we asked what she did, she said they didn’t remember, so we asked her specific questions, like if she placed outside.  She said she yes, that she played with one of the girls that was sad when her mommy left.  I asked her if she talked to her.  She said no, she hadn’t talked to anyone.  I know it will be only a matter of time before she gets comfortable and begins using her voice at school. That night before she went to bed, I asked her what her favorite part of the day had been.  She said, “snack time,” she said they drank milk out of little white cups (I remember those tiny cups) and they ate graham cracker teddy bears.  It’s good to know that preschool hasn’t changed much.  I just hope her little heart doesn’t start to pitter patter for any of the boys in the class, that can wait.